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Life, Refracted

On relationships and more.

Relationships
On Loving and Being Loved

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on February 15, 2024

A couple who feared their 40-year marriage was in terminal trouble consulted a psychologist. Learning to listen, understand, and appreciate each other's perspectives helped.

A couple who feared their 40-year marriage was in terminal trouble consulted a psychologist. Learning to listen, understand, and appreciate each other's perspectives helped.

Adverse Childhood Experiences
Love Through a Looking Glass

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on January 11, 2024

People absorb beliefs about loving and being loved as children. When they suffer pain, neglect, or rejection, they may need alternative learning experiences to love safely.

People absorb beliefs about loving and being loved as children. When they suffer pain, neglect, or rejection, they may need alternative learning experiences to love safely.

Self-Help
"Oops, I Made a Mistake, That’s All"

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on November 19, 2023

When a full calendar and simple distraction led me to behave mindlessly, I created a problem that required revising my short-term plans. A go-to problem-solving strategy helped.

When a full calendar and simple distraction led me to behave mindlessly, I created a problem that required revising my short-term plans. A go-to problem-solving strategy helped.

Aging
“No, I Am Not Demented”

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on October 13, 2023

A Personal Perspective: A look at my husband and the age on his chart led some hospital personnel to discard his legitimate concerns. Age bias harms in many ways.

A Personal Perspective: A look at my husband and the age on his chart led some hospital personnel to discard his legitimate concerns. Age bias harms in many ways.

Media
Babies, Screen Time, and Developmental Delays

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on August 27, 2023

New research found that the more time babies view screens, the more likely they are to have delays in communication and problem-solving at ages 2 and 4.

New research found that the more time babies view screens, the more likely they are to have delays in communication and problem-solving at ages 2 and 4.

Identity
'What Was I Thinking?'

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on July 16, 2023

Changes over time—in our bodies, priorities, peers, and perceptions of our place within our own history—give us opportunities to revise our future selves.

Changes over time—in our bodies, priorities, peers, and perceptions of our place within our own history—give us opportunities to revise our future selves.

Relationships
Applauding All the Fathers in a Singular Life

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on May 31, 2023

A Personal Perspective: The term "father" has many different meanings. The people who help us grow into the adults we wish to become can be found in many relationships.

A Personal Perspective: The term "father" has many different meanings. The people who help us grow into the adults we wish to become can be found in many relationships.

Relationships
The Power of Poetry

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on May 12, 2023

Personal Perspective: Art, in all forms, offers a powerful source of healing. "Loved-Unloved", a slim book of poetry, helps us navigate the road from pain to love and wholeness.

Personal Perspective: Art, in all forms, offers a powerful source of healing. "Loved-Unloved", a slim book of poetry, helps us navigate the road from pain to love and wholeness.

Religion
The Timing of Death

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on April 18, 2023

Statistics can only partially explain the timing of death. What else can account for an early demise or unexpected longevity?

Statistics can only partially explain the timing of death. What else can account for an early demise or unexpected longevity?

Trauma
Tracing Triggers in Hulu’s “The Bear”

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on March 3, 2023

Can a TV show offer insight into trauma and inspire better ways to deal with it? Hulu's "The Bear" does it all in a setting that reflects the characters' development.

Can a TV show offer insight into trauma and inspire better ways to deal with it? Hulu's "The Bear" does it all in a setting that reflects the characters' development.

Wisdom
Revisiting "The Serenity Prayer"

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on January 2, 2023

Insights from our past can guide aspirations for our future. The Serenity Prayer offers advice on how to use them to craft a more rewarding and meaningful life.

Insights from our past can guide aspirations for our future. The Serenity Prayer offers advice on how to use them to craft a more rewarding and meaningful life.

Grief
Grief and Holidays: 10 Key Individual Experiences

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on December 16, 2022

Do holidays, special events, or milestones amplify your thoughts or memories about someone missing from your life? These thoughts may shed light on our personal grief responses.

Do holidays, special events, or milestones amplify your thoughts or memories about someone missing from your life? These thoughts may shed light on our personal grief responses.

Trauma
Lessons Learned From a Medical Emergency

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on October 28, 2022

Personal Perspective: When a medical emergency rearranged my calendar, opportunities to follow good psychological practices helped my husband and me partner with each other and doctors, benefiting all.

Personal Perspective: When a medical emergency rearranged my calendar, opportunities to follow good psychological practices helped my husband and me partner with each other and doctors, benefiting all.

Unconscious
How Films Reach Into Our Unconscious

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on October 7, 2022

Reactions to "Don't Worry Darling" have been mixed. Considering the thriller through a psychological lens helps satisfy curiosity about generational and judgment differences.

Reactions to "Don't Worry Darling" have been mixed. Considering the thriller through a psychological lens helps satisfy curiosity about generational and judgment differences.

Coronavirus Disease 2019
How Novelty, Complexity, and Duration Influence Our Emotions

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on September 30, 2022

If the novelty, complexity, and duration of information we take in determine our affect, nearly three years of exposure to Covid-19 remains powerful. Tomkins' theory helps explain why.

If the novelty, complexity, and duration of information we take in determine our affect, nearly three years of exposure to Covid-19 remains powerful. Tomkins' theory helps explain why.

Identity
Where Does Identity Come From?

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on July 23, 2022

Some think of their identity in terms of roles, heritage, associations or comparisons with others, mastery (or not). Others create an idiosyncratic composite through experiences.

Some think of their identity in terms of roles, heritage, associations or comparisons with others, mastery (or not). Others create an idiosyncratic composite through experiences.

Stress
Moving to a New Home Is a Top Stressor

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on July 3, 2022

A Personal Perspective: Challenges can demand the change of a situation rather than adaption to its current demands. In a recent move, we delegated, coordinated, and persevered.

A Personal Perspective: Challenges can demand the change of a situation rather than adaption to its current demands. In a recent move, we delegated, coordinated, and persevered.

Persuasion
Wardrobe Is Lifestyle

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on May 13, 2022

Clothing can have a lot to do with our sense of self, and our wardrobe choices influence our subjective well-being.

Clothing can have a lot to do with our sense of self, and our wardrobe choices influence our subjective well-being.

Relationships
Facing Challenges Can Infuse Romantic Love With Energy

Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on April 3, 2022

A Personal Perspective: When my husband's routine hip replacement surgery led to a series of crises, we used five time-tested ways of loving to make sure our marriage provided support for healing.

A Personal Perspective: When my husband's routine hip replacement surgery led to a series of crises, we used five time-tested ways of loving to make sure our marriage provided support for healing.